How to Respond to the Most Common Arguments for LGBTQ+

Helpful Resources:

Some touchy conversations may be best conducted with effective questions.  On the topic of LGBTQ+, here are some of the most common arguments.  The links above include many helpful bible verses and truths.  Some of the questions below might be useful in keeping a conversation moving forward.  Good questions help us to think through what we really believe and why we believe it.  Sometimes such a line of questions helps us to see errors and truth more clearly.

Some basics tips when speaking to someone on a touchy topic:

Show Love - be kind, compassionate, gentle, and respectful - avoid anger and arrogance

Speak Truth - be convictional, clear, prepared, and honest,

Listen Well - be patient, don’t interrupt, actively listen with reflective statements

Share Jesus - ultimately anyone affirming, practicing, or identifying as LGBTQ+ does not simply have a merely sexual issue, they have a sin issue, the solution to which is Jesus and the Gospel.  Share the Good News of Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection and point them to salvation.

James 1:19–20 "Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”

1 Peter 3:15 "in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect”

  1. The “God Made Me This Way” Argument

  • other versions of this argument: “I was born this way”, “I can’t help the feelings I have”, “It feels right therefore it is right to me”, “not a lifestyle or a choice, it is who you are”,

  • Do you think people are born with tendencies to do right or wrong? Adultery & fornication? Liars? Thieves? Or is it a choice? A following of an urge or feeling?

  • Does feeling something is right make it right? How do we know right from wrong?

  • Doing wrong comes naturally to us? Is doing wrong part of human nature?

  • Is there a genetic excuse for anger, murder, lust, adultery, greed, theft, or lying? Is there a genetic excuse for homosexuality or any other sin?

2. The “This Is Love” Argument

  • other versions of this argument: “does no harm”, “two consenting adults”,

  • How would you define love? How would you define hate? Is love subjective? Or is there an objective sense that is important?

  • If love is defined by strong affection or pleasure, doesn’t the object of our affection and pleasure matter as well? Do determine if it is a helpful or harmful form of love?

  • Are our feelings trustworthy? Does our intuition always lead us in the right direction?

  • Has anyone ever told you they loved you, only to hurt you later on? Do you think they really meant they “loved” you at some point? Was their definition of love ultimately accurate?

3. The “Gender Is Fluid” Argument

  • other versions of this argument: “sex and gender is different”, “I choose my identity”, “I identity by ____ pronouns”

  • If gender is fluid, can race or nationality be fluid?

  • If gender is fluid, how frequently may I change my gender? What requirements are there to know for certain what gender I am at any given moment?

  • What is a man? What is a woman? How do you know? What do anatomy, biology, and genetics tell us?

  • What does God create both humans and animals as male and female? How are they similar? How are they different? Why do you think men and women are designed so differently?

  • What is the main purpose of our reproductive organs?

  • Can gender be altered biologically? Genetically?

  • Why do words have meaning? If the definition of a words is holistically subjective, how well will communication function?

  • How would you describe me? How is identity established? Can I be mistaken about my identity? Should I be able to force you to identify me by a false identity?

4. The “Equal Rights” Argument

  • other versions of this argument: “marriage equality”, “equal rights”, “people who love each other should have the right to be happy and be married”, “separation of church and state”

  • What is the purpose of government? How is the “common good” best determined?

  • What is the purpose of government recognizing marriage? Incentivizing marriage?

  • When should something be a crime? Why and how should it be punished?

  • How was the United States government and law formed? What role did the Bible play?

5. The “God is Love" Argument

  • other versions of this argument: “there are many ways to interpret the Bible”, “God will forgive me”, “there are many ways to God”

  • Does the Bible say anything about God’s judgment? Wrath? Hell? Justice? Why?

  • Does a loving parent have rules? Why? Are rules hateful or helpful?

  • What does God think about homosexuality? What does the Bible say?

  • What does God think about gender and sexuality? What does the Bible say?

  • If my opinion about God is different than the Bible, then who is wrong?

  • If you believe in another source of authority other than the Bible, why do you believe it? What exclusive truth claims does it make? How do you know it is right?

6. The “Bible Hates Gays” Argument

  • other versions of this argument: “the Bible is hypocritical…encouraging abuse, harems/concubines, women as property, polygamy, marrying your rapist, women as spoils of war, female slaves”, “marriage preexisted Christianity”, “the Bible didn’t use the word ‘homosexuality’ until recent translations”, “the Bible also uses the word “abomination” for shellfish”, “the Bible says homosexuals should be stoned”

  • What is the difference between moral law, governmental law, and religious law in the Old Testament?

  • If something is “described” by history, does that necessarily mean it is “prescribed”?

  • If a government regulates a harmful practice/behavior, does that mean it approves of it? Or that it sees dangers and problems within the practice and is trying to minimize the harmful effects?

  • Do you know how the Bible speaks of sexual purity? Monogamy? The purposes of sex and gender?

7. The “Christians Hate Gays” Argument

  • other versions of this argument: “Christians are bigots”, “Christians are homophobes”, “if you don’t celebrate, you hate”, “Christians are closed minded”, “Christians are stuck in the past”

  • Can you disagree with someone and still love them?

  • Is something is dangerous, shouldn’t we speak up?

  • If a Christian believes something leads to Hell, shouldn’t they warn them? Wouldn’t it be hateful to remain silent?

  • If a Christian believes there is only one way to Heaven, wouldn’t it be loving to share it? Wouldn’t it be hateful to not share the Gospel?

  • What is idolatry? Why do people make up a god in their own image?

  • What is self-deception? Why is it dangerous? How can we know what is true?

  • According to the Bible will adultery get into Heaven? Fornicators? Liars? Thieves? Idolaters?Should I warn them? If I care about homosexuals, should I warn them?

  • If two people agree to shoot fireworks at each other, how have they wronged the other? By putting their lives and health in danger. If a third person sees the danger they are putting themselves in, should that person speak up? Intervene? Petition a government worker (police) to protect them from themselves? When should someone stop trying to help?

“Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you thinks that he is wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise.” (1 Corinthians 3:18  ESV)

“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”  (1 Corinthians 6:9–10)

“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; [4] that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, [5] not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; [6] that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. [7] For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. [8] Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.” (1 Thessalonians 4:3–8)

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